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The maple kind?? Yeh??

August 4, 2011
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Patisserie Valerie – estherpeg, I totally had the same experience in the one in Bristol. Lush cakes, lack-lustre service. Valerie – buck your ideas up!

Last week, myself and boypeg’s sister – alex went to the little theatre in bath to watch a film. The Little Theatre is a sweet kooky setting to watch arthouse cinema. Having watched Submarine there a few months ago and thoroughly pissing myself with laughter, I couldn’t wait to go again. After reading reviews of The Tree of Life, it sounded “right up my street” as Chezzer Cole would say.

Sounds bloody brilliant eh? It has received masses of critical acclaim from respectable magazines, websites and critics we were very excited to see it. Little White Lies gave it a whopping 5 stars so my expectations were seriosry high.

PEGS. We were betrayed. I was more disappointed by The Tree of Life than Pearl Habour. Alex summed it up really well by saying that it was like a series of perfume adverts strung together. Full of clichés, crappy metaphors about life, totally self-absorbed, pretentious and way too ambitious.

Terrence Malick (director) told the story of your average American family in the 50’s who suffer a tragedy with the loss of their young son.  The eldest son just so happens to grow up to be Sean Penn, who , despite his success, is a lost man. So – at about 15 mins into this movie, then follows 20 min film of the dawn of time and the universe.

NO. JOKE.

It was like a much longer and crappier version of that Guinness advert where the little salamander drinks the water and goes “bleh”. We saw nematodes to dinosaurs – which by the way looked awful. Jurassic Park was over 10 years ago and it looked more convincing and authentic.

I was expecting a film about life and love and I got a budget version of Planet Earth.

The rest of the film I found boring and uniteresting – it showed the family being a family over the years and because they are your “average Americans” it was just predictable and dull.

Even more disappointing – Brad Pitt (playing the father) which was an incentive to see it in the first place was an unpleasant character – don’t know what he was doing in it.

Apparently, what Malick was trying to do was to interlink the ups and unexplained downs of human life with the mysterious nature of the life itself. But I don’t get the motivation in that – we, as functioning humans, know that life is a bitch sometimes and bad things happen to good people yadda yadda – do we really need to attempt to explain this one? Well YES if you want to talk about how God has a plan for us which is exactly what Malick wanted to do. And it’s a bit of a turn off to have anyone ram their ideas down your throat.

So I don’t recommend it peglets! Call me a philistein (I swear the ushers in the cinema glared at me and alex as we ranted as the credits rolled) but I am patient with weird movies and I don’t really believe anyone who would say they thought it was the film that changed cinema.

I’ll leave you with some quality filmage to contrast. If you ever feel down or had a crappy day – watch these and your life will feel complete again. Maybe I am a philistein??

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